Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hiccup

I was so busy preparing and completing enormous forms and paperwork for the last 2 weeks for the purpose of continuing my study. Being a public sector staff, any opportunity given to further my study will definitely give an impact to my promotion and salary grade. The process has hooked me for so long. I officially started the quest sometime in 2010 and looking back it's been a year since I first consider that I need to continue further.

Study at this stage requires so many planning. I have wife and (will soon) two kids under my belt and enormous others responsibilities that I need to fulfill. First, my wife (thank you 5x) consider of moving with me to the south and recently has moved from her site office to the HQ just to make sure our planning goes well. On my side I assure her that my form will complete in due time for submission to the department.

And those were the planning....

My boss has asked for a discussion this morning regarding my application form, and I knew it, his boss has rejected my application on the ground that my supervisor (to him) is not that capable and experienced enough to supervise the area stated in my proposal. I am so frustrated and I bare all my dissatisfaction to my boss with regard to his boss. That proposal was a result of blood and tears! I spent sleepless nights and many trips down south just to get that 5 pages done and what 'his boss' said just change a supervisor or you won't be allowed to further. The problem is not the proposal, it's the supervisor he said. He don't know her and her capabilities and simply make a random conclusion. So narrow.

While discussing with my boss this morning, my boss assure me that I still can continue with the same proposal but perhaps with other supervisor from a faculty that is relevant with my area. So where's the **** is multidisciplinary as 'his boss' previously mentioned? Am I going to bring this proposal which the result of my discussion with my supervisor to other supervisor? No. I won't do that since that proposal concern something that is his (his boss) area. I am not going to belong to that group anymore. Plus, his boss always come out with an issue of plagiarism, I am not going to be labelled that way. My decision is clear I will divert into something that is considered core but not 'his boss' area. Well, every area is his area anyway.

Now, start the same process again, identify a supervisor, discuss, identify a research problem, discuss, make a proposal, my boss to verify and the 'his boss' to approve. Waste of time and waste of effort. My boss suggest me to see 'his boss' regularly to discuss on the proposal that I'll be working on. I said no!, if 'his boss' put in his idea into mine and I just ignore, then there will be possibility for my next application to be rejected, if I were to put his views into the proposal, then if I were not to acknowledged his contribution, then there will be issue on plagiarism. What to do lol!!. This guy (his boss) wants to always claim his stake even it just a view.

God. There'll be a long way for me to complete this task and as environment is not that supportive (only my boss, wife and supervisor supportive thank you 5x) the challenge will be more mounting as I ever expected. Do hope things will get better after this.

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